Fig Newton

We are going through some renovations at the moment so that means the front door is WIDE FREAKING OPEN more than it’s closed. So the dog escapes multiple times a day. Now, in his defense, he does not bolt outside to embrace freedom every time the door opens. In fact, he is very good about […]

I guess you’re important

It’s kind of a funny feeling when someone in your life “levels up” on your list of priorities. I’m not a cruel person for not wanting to be notified every time someone is trying to get a hold of me. So, all you perfect people out there need to chill with the negative thoughts. Save […]

Aliens can’t be trusted

In my dream last night I was just a child. Let’s say 7ish. I was at a playground alone (go figure) and it was raining (of course). There was one of those big circular things that had 5 or so large handles where multiple children could hold onto while someone spun it.  Well, I got […]

Elf shenanigans part 1

SHE READ A TEXT THAT SAID THEIR FRIENDS MOM FORGOT TO MOVE THEIR ELF! What? SHE DOESN’T BELIVE BRIAN (the elf) IS REAL! SHE DOESN’T BELIEVE IN SANTA! Calm down. I’M NOT YELLING I didn’t say you were? I overheard her tell her friend that she was going to touch the Elf tonight and not tell us. She wants to know once […]

15 missed lifts later…

“You know you’re out of shape when you can’t pull supermarket shopping carts apart.” I had a funny conversation with some friends the other day about hard days in the gym. They said sometimes you have those days where you have to count down how many more times you have to actually touch the barbell […]