I have never participated in any St. Patrick’s Day festivals in my three years of living in Maryland and this year I was fortunate enough to be able to go.
Three words… I REGRET NOTHING
- May I have two blonde beers, please? The bartender put 4 green beers in front of me… no one is looking so I take them. Maybe these are really what I paid for? Maybe I just stole these? But they were green… and there were four. So, as quickly and carefully as I could go I ran away with four green beers.
- Stranger standing on the curbside mysteriously offers ONE slice of pizza- no thank you sir, I don’t eat pizza from strangers. Oh? My friend comes out of the bar and TAKES the pizza from the stranger and inhales it. At this point, I’m just hoping she doesn’t die. Her excuse was that the stranger could be trusted because the pizza was in a box. Lesson: Trust strangers with boxes.
- Lovely new friend of mine decided to propose to me. Then continues to talk about our reception for the rest of the night. Was that proposal not an innocent joke?! Am I really engaged? I can’t commit to this…
- French fries galore. I was debating on three different types of loaded toppings for my fries. So, I convinced one guy to order the one I was least excited to try (Hawaiian pork) but still wanted a taste…pumped that my friend and her creeper-man were wanting to order the bacon ranch topping -so that left me to get my taco toppings! The guy who ordered the Hawaiian pork didn’t like his and the rest of us refused to eat it or share ours with him. Sorry, pal. Why are you even with us?
- Every police officer was on a mission to get with my friend who is one tall glass of waterJ. While they all played nice and flirty all she could think about/ yell out loud was, “CAN I HAVE A JOB”. If it wasn’t for her I am almost certain I would have been questioned sprinting back and forth across the street trying to find my Uber. I kept losing her but the officers took that as fun way to flirt with her about losing her friend.
- I found the love of my life but the last memory of him was walking down the stairs holding up a thumbs up sign. Like, are you into me? Does that mean come find me? I love you…
- My friend started a knocking frenzy while in line for the bathroom. She knocked- then everyone else knocked. The poor guy who was actually in the bathroom had to probably panic pee.
- I can’t tell you how many times I swore I would wake up and go to crossfit in the morning.
- Ever heard of Tennessee Fire? Stay away from it. Far away. Unless you like the smell and taste of bleach.
- I convinced myself I was allergic to roses so I wouldn’t buy any.
- I may or may not have pushed my friend off a bench and into the street…
- The Irish Exit is my signature move. See ya!
The list goes on forever. I just wanted to share a quick recap of one memorable night. Federal Hill did not disappoint! I can’t wait until next year.