Killin’ Time

I am officially the worst at trying to find things to do while I kill time.

I have all these “great ideas” that never seem to work out…

I had about an hour to kill last Thursday before class and I decided to run into Target to look around. At the end of most of the aisles they have those shelves stocked with random things.

Well, I am a sucker for random things. I checked out water bottles, dishes, Easter themed water pitchers, annnnnd waxing kits…

Need I say more??

Of all of those things- can you guess which one I left the store with?

Yep. The freaking waxing kit.

WHYYYY!!

I didn’t have enough time to run home to wax my face so I decided to do it in my car. I thoroughly read the instructions and it strongly discouraged using the strip on the same piece of skin more than once.

I didn’t take that part of the instructions very seriously. I figured, what could possibly be so horrible about doing that. The woman I pay to do it for me always goes over certain spots twice. So why can’t I??

I pull the first set of strips out and briskly rub them together before peeling it apart. I even carefully placed it on my face and rubbed it for a solid 30 seconds being hopeful that it would work its magic. I sat in my car for what felt like an eternity with a huge white strip stuck to my face.

Cars passed by… the drivers stared at me… I had to awkwardly pretend I had nothing on my face. Why I chose to do this in a busy parking lot while I was parked a few spaces from the main entrance is beyond me. Again, just one of my super-duper ideas.

After some time passed I decided it was time to start the process. I was a little hesitant to pull it off at first because I didn’t know how sticky this wax was. But turns out… it wasn’t sticky at all. WHICH is why in my brilliant little mind I was able to go over the same spot twice.

Annnd not just twice… I went over the same spot 4 times. FOUR FREAKING TIMES. I was so red and had a few little spots that started to bleed but the worst spot was at the corner of my mouth. You know, that area of transition from lip to skin.

Needless to say, I went into straight PANIC mode!! I tore open one of the oil sheets to use afterwards and it just greased my face up. So, not only am I bleeding through my pores, I’m shiny as hell, and I’m missing a huge chunk of skin.

*People are going to think I have herpes!

*Maybe they will think I just drank something extremely hot and greasy?? (I just gagged at that idea.)

*Maybe they will think I had a horrible waxing experience. That wouldn’t explain the skin missing on my face.

*Do I look sick?? Maybe I can just tell people I have a runny nose and the snot is irritating my skin. That’s gross, Misty. You’re not five! Get it together!

This is clearly a self-inflicted wound.

There was no way in hell I was going to go to class looking like someone just rode their bicycle over my face.

I frantically sent multiple texts, phone calls, and voicemails to one of the girls in my class trying to explain what I just did and why I was going to be late. I figured I would only really be about 10-15 minutes late if I ran home to wash my face. NOPE. I wasn’t finished healing my wounds until there was ONLY 20 minutes of class left.

Sadly, I never made it.

My lesson for you today is:

DO NOT wax your own face. Please, I beg of you to take directions seriously and do NOT play beauty salon in your car.